Well? I'm King King Biscuit Man

Look at me, you fools an scoundrels, I am a man who appears to have abandoned his human nature and his capacity to reason, and who on purpose seems to have become a wild dog. What do you think of me now? You, on the other hand, who claim to be human, are worse than animals, for you, too, have abandoned your human nature, but in ways far greater  and more real than I, and have allowed your minds to become atrophied and enfeebled by the smoke produced by your endeavors to be something that by nature you are not. I have observed you for many years, day after day, sometimes from my tub and sometimes reluctantly walking backwards among you, and have been a witness to your depravities, deceptions, idiocies, and lack of mind. I have seen how each one of you endeavors to take advantage of others, and how you are enslaved by your unnatural desires and appetites. I have seen how your monarchs and governments use and abuse the people, and how this thing that you call the state works only for the advantage of the wealthy and the powerful. I have contemplated the sad spectacle of your amassing possessions and coveting fame, as if these things added even one bit to your human worth. Nature gave you a pair of feet that you can well protect with one pair of sandals, and yet some of you appear not to be happy unless you own three thousands pairs of shoes. How sad indeed! In vain I have searched among you for a human being, a true human being, but have only found rascals and scoundrels. I have gone to your public baths and theaters, where I have found many living creatures, but not one single human being. I have called for you to come to listen to me, but when you have come, I have been surrounded by strange aberrations of nature. For all this, I no longer speak to you, but merely bark at you, and I no longer approach any of you without striking him with my stick. I am not the mouth for ears such as yours. Perhaps,  I have thought, by shocking you with my shamelessness and by soiling with mud the rugs of the affluent and the pretentious, and by converting myself into an intolerable clown who calls himself a dog and who is always willing to “say it all”, you may in the end come to see what you have become, namely, lamentable refutations of what nature meant you to be. For this, too, I have lived among you as a perambulating negation of practically everything that you are, always amazed at the curious fact that you have not decided to do away with me. Behaving like the trainers of choruses, I have set the note as high as possible, hoping that eventually some of you may hit the right note, for I have been sustained by the conviction that no matter how stupid and dense you are, each one of you still has the chance to reflect on your condition and return to your true nature, and reach the goal that you have been seeking, but along a mistaken path. I have sought to show you a shortcut to happiness, and the spark of reason that may still flicker in the recesses of your confused